This music video by PSY and Snoop Dogg made me really sad, you guys.
In it, PSY and Snoop Dogg are at a bar, throwing back soju shots, when they catch eyes with a laughing, pony-tailed woman a few tables over. She and her fellow fun-loving gal-pal (one with a curly bob and bangs, like me!) pull up some chairs to join the rappers(? Is that what PSY does? Rap?) and they all continue on a raucous night out in the town.
Later, at a karaoke bar, it’s clear that PSY and Snoop are looking at their companions with soju goggles, as evidenced by the intercut scenes of skinnier women with long, straight hair and skimpier outfits singing and dancing seductively. Afterwards, the quartet drunkenly staggers through a carnival – affording me a better, head-to-toe look at these apparent frumpsters.
And you know what? Other than the fact that the one who looked like me had mysteriously changed into a garishly colored pantsuit (Was it a carnival prize? Maybe PSY won the jacket and Snoop won the pants? And they fit one girl better than the other?), they looked fine. They were not comically fat or old or anything else that pop culture sneers at (which is also a problem, but other than to say I’m super into white hair and big butts lately, I don’t feel like it’s my place to… blog about it). These girls looked normal. They looked like me.
I suppose, in a music video for a song called “Hangover,” with copious drinking as foreshadowing, I should have figured that these ladies were going to end up the butt of a joke. I guess, in my excitement at seeing some normal women – women who seemed to love soju and comfortable sweaters in equal measure – featured in a glamorous PSY/Snoop collabo, I dropped my guard and thought YES THIS IS OUR MOMENT.
And, I mean, I’m not blind. I noticed right away that these ladies bore a few extra pounds and layers of clothing than the booty-shaking backup dancers in the rest of this video (and every video ever). I just thought maybe PSY and Snoop – neither of them exactly an archetype for the traditionally attractive male body themselves – were saying that that’s okay for a couple of drinking buddies, if you’re outgoing, unpretentious, and down-for-whatever. But no, apparently you also need to be rocking a thigh gap and a long, sleek mane.
I may have taken this harder than I normally would have, because I was reminded of how earlier that week a boy I’d been seeing confessed that he prefers my hair longer. This was right as I was contemplating giving myself what I thought was a long overdue trim, because as agonizingly awkward it feels at first, I think I look happier with short hair. And, since it came from a white guy, this also took my hurt feelings at the “Hangover” video outside of the “Oh, that’s just an Asian pop culture standard of beauty” realm.
So, with tears in my eyes after watching that PSY/Snoop Dogg video (which is a very ridiculous situation, I admit) I thought, Wow, people really don’t like the way I look, do they.
I think I’m going to go ahead and give myself that haircut anyway.